Destiny Unfolding

Well, glory be to God because both of my papers were completed.  I haven’t gotten them back yet, but I just pray God blesses.  I did my best and that is all that I can do.  Ya Know!

Any way, I am really enjoying school.  The challenge is great!  By no means do I feel that PTS has tried to change or alter my Jesus.  Thank you Lord.  But I think a lot of this does have to do with a personal relationship.  You can tell the difference between those students who so Christianity as a religion vs. those who see Christ as a part of who I am.  I think this makes a difference.  

I notice that several times since I have been here that I keep saying the same thing. “You need to know some things about yourself and about your Jesus before you come to Seminary.”  Without this I am sure that the experience is quite different for other students.  I have seen students already really struggling over some theological issues but when you have a personal relationship with Christ it makes a difference in your approach to the text at hand.  

What a blessing it is to know this God who wants to be intimate with us.

Well, for all the folks from Cleveland who are looking on…I will be home this weekend.  I will get in on Friday and leave back on Monday.  All next week we have reading week.  So I will be locking myself in Firestone (PU Library) and trying to catch up and work ahead.  (Aren’t those opposite each other…lol)  But I will look forward to my few days home.

Well, it is time for me to go off to the library.  Please keep me in prayer because my Church History Mid-Term in on FRIDAY AT 8:00 AM. So please say a prayer.  

Be Blessed people.  Holla!

It is currently 1:05 AM.  I have two papers due this week.  One is due Thursday and the other Friday.  But I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing right now.

I just finished reading an excerpt from the awesome book by Cleophus LaRue (on staff here at PTS) called, “This is My Story:  Testimonies & Sermons of Black Women In Ministry.”  So far I have read excerpts from 2 of the 25 women.  I try to read one testimony every week for pleasure and for encouragement.  Of course both being 2 of my favorite preaches: Dr. Cynthia Hale and Dr. Claudette Copeland.  Through their words alone one these pages they have made the pleasures and pains a reality for African American women in Ministry.

I wanted to take this moment for myself (an allow you, whoever you may be, to peer with me at where I am)  Here its goes…

I am sure, but I am not quite sure, how I got here.  In some aspects, the way that God has orchestrated me here is evident over my life.  Yet, in other ways I wonder why me.   I guess that is was a part of Jesus’ desert experience.  Was coming to grips with who He was in the flesh having known what he had been in the spirit.

Here in this place I am faced with so many challenges.  I was discussing with my covenant group these inadequacy I often times FEEL.  Each student comes to PTS on a different level.  My peers know theological terms and I don’t.  My peers can read material through once and engage in conversation about it where I have to read it through 2 and 3 times just to make sense of the base of the material.  The list can go on and on.  But yet, I continuously remind myself that although these are things I FEEL, that I have all knowledge and that God has given me everything I need to be successful.

I don’t really know if there are words to describe quite where I am.  I am in the dessert.  I am in a land where the heat is on, the water is rare, and any of the food I receive must last me until the next meal.  In some ways I am hungry and in others I am full.  In some ways I feel lost and in others I am found.

What the Holy Sprit keeps reminding of is to STAND ON WHAT I KNOW.
I Know that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior of my Life.
I Know that I am called the ministry.
I Know that my God will never leave me nor forsake me.
I know that God will provide every single one of my needs
I know that God is present in this place
I Know that I was ordained to be here.

So in the midst of my frustrations I know the power of the God I serve.

So here is my prayer…

Awesome and mighty God.  It is late, but I desire to be in your presence.  I know that you are here.   Thank you for coming.  Daddy, pull me closer to you today.  Pull me close to your bosom and love on me.   I desire to be intimately connected to you.  My heart is longing for you.  I know God then when I operate in you, I feel complete.  I know God that when I operate in you, I become more like Christ.  I know that when I operate in you, I move closer to that moment when all will be made clear.

God I am not perfect.  There are moments when I have allowed my flesh and/or my mind to doubt you.  To doubt your plan.  Forgive me.  What I do know daddy is that if you search my heart you will know my only desire; my only longing is for you.  

So tonight God, I am believing you.  I am believing you and wanting to move forward in you.  I am believing that you desire to pull me closer and I am longing for you.  

Instruct me!
Lead me!
Guide me!Love on me!
Teach me!
Instruct me!
Councel me!
Mold me!
Shape me!
Do whatever you need me to do so that I might be fully equipped to do the work of your church.

To night, restore the time that has been lost and let me sleep within the arms of your care on tonight that I might wake refreshed and renewed in you.  Let every paper be completed in excellence.  Be in complete control.

Daddy I love you and I bless your Holy Name!

Amen!

All my books. LOrd have mercy. Where am I gonna put the books for next semester?

My mom of course pull my room together with curtins and pics. Thanks mom! P.S. See my flowers...there Roses!

Here's my bed! I wanted Red to remind me of the blood of Jesus. I need it here!

Wanna See my Room. Come right on in

Its me!

Here's Cory. Mentioned him last week too. Everyone is one the phone! ;0P

This is my friend Marcus. I mentioned him last week.

This is my covenant group for my Spiritual Disciplines Class. Back Row from L to R. Carol, Robin, Le'Roi. Next to me is Richard. We pray every week on Wednesday's. This group is great!

Rev. Paul, Ms. Martin, and myself.

My last sunday preaching at Mt. Zion 8.28.05 I'm here with two kids from my church. They are sisters. Can't you tell!

I know, I know!  It has been forever since I wrote something.  Yet, I think that this should attest to the fact hat Princeton is HARD AS HELL.  I knew that the process and work load was going to be difficult so it takes some adjusting.  I still don’t think that I have a regular routine, but I will keep working at it.

Let’s see so much has happened.

I have already turned in two papers.  The first was for Church History (CH) on the effects of women in Martyrdom.  It was quite challenging and I was extremely nervous because it was my first paper.  I felt good about my product until I went to class and other students started sharing their papers upon the same topic.  But, I did ok on the paper and I was satisfied with my grade.  The second paper I turned in was for Old Testament (OT) on the story of Hagar and her son Ishmael.  I really enjoyed this paper but it was very challenging.  First of all we cannot go over 1000 words.  That is not a lot of words when you are trying to explain a text and they want scripture sited every 3 sentences.  Ladies and gentlemen this is very difficult.  I will get this paper back tomorrow.  But with OT the papers are pass or fail.  If you fail you have the opportunity to re-write. I pray that I passed because I don’t have time to rewrite a paper.  I have 2 papers due next week.  So my plan is to finish one this week and the other this weekend.  I pray that plan works.  I really don’t like trying to edit/write and 3:00 AM the night before.

I am taking Hebrew.  Lord have Mercy!  Hebrew is challenging. So many rules.  The rules are fairly consistent but it is extremely challenging.  I was praying about weather to take the class pass/fail or for a grade.  My flesh was screaming pass/fail but my spirit said grade.  So I went with the latter.  I am frustrated but I do have the victory.  Please keep this at the top of your prayer lists.  But let me say that I do have a wonderful teacher.  In fact, he wrote the book that seminaries use for Hebrew.  So its great to have the Hebrew guru as your professor.  

I am taking this speech class.  Although the class is not challenging it does cause me some internal conflict.  Princeton has this method of making cookie cutter speakers out of its students.  It is the Presbyterian USA method.  But we all know that is not how BLACK FOLK speak or read scriptures.  There reading style is more dramatic than passionate.  So my professor is trying to get me to read like the Preby’s but I struggle because I have cultivated my gift of speech for a long time.  He does bring some good suggestions and some I can accept but you know I want to be true to myself.  So we shall see.

I had the opportunity to sit in on Cornel West’s class for about an hour or so last night.  He teaches Intro to Black Intellectualism with Dr. Eddie Glaude.  Wow, both of these men were phenomenal.  The class was discussing, none other than, W.E.B.’s “Souls of Black Folk.”  Very very good.  They brought some new insight that I had not see before.   I would love to take one of West’s classes but his Intro to Black Intellectualism starts with 250 pages of reading each week.  But already Toni Morrison and Tavis Smiley have visited his class.  So I hope to be able to take one of his courses before I graduate.

I have been church hopping.  Which I have mixed emotions about. I have so many churches that I want to visit but I don’t like getting an inconsistent word.  For a while I was going too “The Baptists Worship Center” with Bishop Millicent Hunter.  That I enjoyed.  I am sure I will go back.  There is no African American female faculty here at PTS, so I would like to have a female pastor preferably, or a church where female full time leadership is on staff.  We shall see.  Dr. Hale was here Sunday.  Praise the lord for Manna and Quail.  As always she preached fire from her belly.  I miss the Ray but I know it’s not my season for that place right now.

I have met some great people here.  Mostly men.  There are supposedly 20 African American students in my entering class.  Only 5 of us are women.  But I still don’t think that I have seen 20.  Anywho, I have become particularly close with two guys, Cory and Marcus.  We study together and hang out on the weekends.  They are very nice and focused.  Each different in their own way but I appreciate the friendship and the support.  Something interesting about each…Cory is a Morehouse man and we share a lot in common.  But we didn’t know each other while in the AUC.  Marcus is COGIC (Church Of God In Christ).  This is interesting for 2 reasons.  For one, the COGIC faith is not big on theological education.  So I am proud of him for stepping out on faith in that regard.  Secondly, he is COGIC and at a Presbyterian seminary.  Pray for the brotha.  COGIC is the largest black PENTACOSTAL denomination.  Nuff said!!

Well time to get dressed for chapel.  I love u and miss you and I’ll write again this weekend.  I had a defining moment in my ministry last weekend but I just don’t have enough time to get into it now.  So look back early next week for my entry.

Be Blessed!

Court