Sunday, June 21, 2009 

Just a thought on this first Father's Day wihtout my Dad...




Allow me to be honest...

Today is my first Father's Day without my Dad, Frank A. Clayton III. It's been difficult on my mother and sister especially. That is not to say that today has not been difficult for me. The day probably became most difficult when I dropped Cory off at the airport. On my ride back from the airport I slipped back into the state of "God why did you have to take my dad?"

Immediately after my father passed I went through a stage of being angry with God about taking my father's life. I was angry first because my father was a good Black man. He was ethical, loving and supportive (just to name a few....see the eulogy below to learn more about this great man). He was my buddy and I realize that in many black families a father like him is not always among the number. The second reason I was angry with God was because I figure "I still need him more than you do." As a young adult I am at a point in my life where I value Dad's opinoin and now know the right questions to ask. I figured if God is all knowing that he ought to know I need my father more then He does.

However, today I realized that I can count what I have gained or I can count what I have lost. Yes, I lost my Dad, but I gained a tremendous experience with an amazing man. Yes, I lost my Dad, but I gained the opportunity to witness a good father and husband. Yes, I lost my Dad, but I gained a confidant who I could trust in any and all situations. And the list could go on and on.

Today, I will count what I have gained and not what was lost.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009 

Fruits of the Spirit Fast

18 Day Cleansing Fast

(I've never been much of a journelor, but I will try and write a little each day in a special little journal I have for this.)

Stage 1 - First 9 Days
It is my hope that in the first 9 days I will begin to move toward a balance of Mind, Body & Spirit. I want to explore these 9 days with God creatively. It is my intention to embrace this season of challenge and trial by looking for ways that I can be transformed internally.


Spirit

* Continue with my 7 AM prayer Group
* Have Private Prayer in the evenings
* Focus on the fruit of the day through study
* Watch a sermon via youtube.com or streamingfaith.com


Mind

* I want to be more methodical when I speak. So I will work more intentionally to think before I speak.
* Spending an ever-increasing amoung of time in Zen Meditation with the help of some Buddhist practices that have helped my Christian Journey of Medication. I will work on the disciplines necessary to cleanse my mind of racing and wondering thoughts. I will seek to embrace the naked silence.
* Limitation of Television to 4 hours (I don't work so this is major) and Facebook to 3 hours.
* Read at least one book that works with me internally.
* Work to expand my creativity by creating a video blog devotional and prayer


Body

* I will seek to eat very healthy these 9 days (Fruits, Veggies, Grains, Lean Meats & Seafood). No processed foods. No fast foods. No frozen foods. No fried foods.
* Some physical fitness exercise M-F (swimming, yoga, dance, cardio)
* Working to clean up the physical space around me and mantain that space as a sanctuary
* REST: I will be going to bed at 10:00 PM each evening and not rising until 7:00 AM
* Working towards 90 oz of water /day

Thursday, March 19, 2009 

Spelman College

I keep getting those letters, e-mails and even phone calls from Spelman asking me to give money. I was reading another blog about what HBCUs do and don't offer and the lack of financial support they receive. I shared the following...

I am a Spelman Woman…and very proud of it. I grew up in an all white and predominantly Jewish neighborhood. I needed Spelman College. I was a young black girl in search of a deeper understanding of what that meant to be a young black woman.

When I crossed those gates, I entered into a world that challenged me. Yes, I was challenged by the long lines for registration. Yes, challenged by the lack of financial aid. Yes, challenged by the registrars “totally off” way of doing things and leading you to believe you weren’t going to graduate because of an error on their end and not yours.
I was challenged by the limiting number (set by the school) of women who were allowed to pledge Greek organizations. I was challenged by my Women’s Studies courses and all the depth they had to offer. AND I was especially challenged by Dr. Weems’ Introduction to Old Testament Class. She walked in, set her things down and we girls (and a few guys) stood in awe of this theological giant. And yes, Dr. Weems, you challenged us when you said, “I am Dr. Weems. I have never taught an undergraduate course. Though this is an undergraduate institution, I don’t plan on changing the way I teach Hebrew Bible.” We looked around and knew we would be challenged.

But beyond the fried chicken Wednesday and fried fish Fridays there was a tremendous gift that was not necessarily taught in the classrooms. When I arrived on the Spelman Campus all of the women looked just like me. We were all African Americas and we were all women. Spelman provided me with a unique opportunity to spend 4 years of my life figuring out what makes me different form all of these women, who externally (according to the senses report) are just like me.

What a tremendously time for me grow, discern real friends, find a sense of direction and learn the value of sisterhood. We were pressed on day one, by Dr. Zenobia Hikes, to spend our time finding our Nia (“Purpose”). At the end of the day, the value of my own self worth could not be taught in the classroom alone, but was a process I needed to engage in order to grow (sometimes late in the midnight hour).

Today, I’m having trouble finding work after attending Princeton Theological Seminary (Lord, it made me appreciate Spelman all the more). But I, with what little I have, have given $25 as often as I can. I do this not just because I should give back, but also because when my student loans are long gone, the gift that this college has given to me will continue. It’s not much, but it is something. Then again, we grew from people who made something out of nothing.

 

He Said, She Said, God Said (Tag Team Preaching at Trinity United Church of Christ for the Married Couples Worship Service - Chicago, IL)









Tuesday, March 03, 2009 

Learning to Lead - Part I


My generation is consumed with the thought of "maximum capacity." Which is to say that so many of us must have the maximum use out of everything, even ourselves. We jump right on in to the deep end...well at least I tend to.

Take for example a Play Station 3 -- or PS3 (which somehow my husband convinced me to buy). The PS3 doesn't just play video games. No, it also plays DVD (blue-ray to be exact), it holds pictures, surf's the web, plays music, can play your games from PS2 and probably a bunch of other things I have no clue about. In other words, it can't just do one things.

I think we treat people like that and it's not good. People are of no use to us if they can only do one thing great. We expect them to great at a long list of things and them expect them to be great at multi-task.

I guess I've been thinking a lot about that, particularly in the context of leadership. My generation is programed to believe that we must do all things well and all at the same time. But what if we stepped back and played to our strengths, knowing that our weakness is someone else's strength.

I am in the midst of trying to form myself into a better leader. I know that God has given me a gift for leadership. However, I am coming to realize that in order to work on my gift of leadership I can't lead in everything, can't be good at everything and certainly can't master everything.

Real leadership, I think I'm coming to understand, is playing to my strengths and finding others to play to my weakness. I don't mean that in a "use people" kind of way. But in the area's where I am weak, someone else is strong.

Furthermore, in the context of the church, we talk about how on 10% of the church does the work. Could that be only because we keep asking the same 10% over and over to assist. If were leading a church, its about finding out what drives the other 90% and helping them find there niche.

In the end, I think Leadership is like preaching. Even if your born with the gifts, you still have to spend time perfecting it.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 

Eulogy for My Dad…Frank A Clayton, III


“He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” Psalm 1:3

Langston Hughes, the famous poet, once asked the question, “What happens to a dream deferred?”

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore and then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat>
Or crust and sugar over like a syrup sweet.
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it just explode?

While this was the question which perplexed Langston Hughes, I am clear that it was not the question that mystified Frank Alexander Clayton III. If Langston Hughes spent his nights asking “What happens to a dream deferred?” then Frank Clayton spent his days wondering “What happens to a dream manifested?”

What happens to a dream manifested?
Does it grow tall and spread wide like the petals of a sun flowers?
Or like a freight train moving forward gain tremendous power?
Does it bring a smile to the faces of those we love?
Or spread its wings and fly gracefully like a dove?
Maybe it just stretches and beds like plastic.
Or perhaps its just simply fantastic?

No, No the question which drove Frank was not “What happens to a dream deferred” But rather “what happens to a dream manifested?”

Without question, my father was a man who was all about dreaming. Not just dreaming dreams that were so far out there that people looked at him in an awkward manner. But: calculating dreams
precise dreams
demanding dreams
life-altering dreams
Dreams that could be achieved through hard work, determination and a faith in God that could move mountains.
Dreams that were contagious
Dreams that were infectious
Dreams that caused others like you and me to dream even bigger reams.

He was a dreamer. A dreamer who kept on dreaming because it seemed that as soon as a dream was birthed in his spirit, it became reality sooner rather than later.

He dreamed as a child…of life beyond his single parent home and the poverty he experienced from an early age.

He dreamed as a young man…to cease the patter which had plagued his childhood by becoming the type of husband, father and faithful caretaker of his mother so many of us read about in story books.

And as a man…he dreamed of making an indelible mark, by giving his very best, in everything he put his hand to.

But what was so amazing about Frank’s ability to dream big dreams was the fact that he was able to keep his feet firmly planted upon the ground. He was a man “able to walk with kings, yet never lose the common touch.” Anyone who knew him knew him as a humble man and this was because Frank Clayton was a man who was planted.

The psalmist writes, “He is like a tree, planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers” (Ps. 1:3).

Frank was a man planted by streams of water. To be planted beside the source of water in this verse of scripture is referring to openness to God and God’s dreams for our lives. It is deep rootedness in the proper ground that allows the tree to withstand drought and to always bear fruit. Frank was always “Fantastic” not just because he said so, but because even in trying times his roots ran deep and he was never without a source to sustain his life. He was not just dependant upon the rains above, but made sure that he was planted solidly, deeply, firmly, in the things which could nurture him form the root.

Frank was a man firmly planted in his family:

Mom, from the very moment Dad laid eyes on you, he knew that you would be life giving for him. You made Frank want to be a better man. He found in you, and you in him, a soul mate – a life partner. And he planted himself beside you as a best friend and lover for over 37 years. You and Frank traveled many roads, hills and valleys together and he never let go of your hand…not for one minute. And though he is not physically present beside you today, he is still holding your hand. He will continue to walk with you if you let him life and thrive in your heart.

Lindsay, you and I know that from the moment Dad laid eyes on each of us that he planted himself deeply in the responsibly of fatherhood. Dad sought to give us so many of the things he never had: a loving and stable environment and the best education. Lindsay, he was the father who carried you when you could not walk. And he was the father who never allowed us to quite when times got tough. And thought we disliked this quality about him at the time, we will forever hear him in our hearts urging us to keep going even when the road becomes unbearable.

Dad and I talked quite a bit over the summer about his passing and more in the last week. He wanted me to tell you Sharon and Lindsay that Dad doesn’t plan on missing anything if you keep him alive in your heart. “I’ll never miss a Christmas. I’ll never miss a Thanksgiving, If you keep me alive in your heart. I’ll never miss a birthday or an Easter program if you keep me alive in your heart. Never miss a child being born or an Anniversary, a Mother’s Day or a Father’s Day, a family meal or a family vacation if you keep me alive in your heart. I want to keep living” he said “in the hearts of those I love and if you let me live there, I won’t miss a thing!”

Ronald, he planted himself by you and your mother. Frank sought to do his very bet to provide for Eloise and keep lines of communication open between you and him. In fact, this week Ronald, Dad with tears in his eyes, said that you were one of the best blessings to come out of his sickness. “I always wanted to be close to my brother,” he said “and this illness has allowed my prayers to be answered.”

Frank was also a man firmly planted by his friends:

So many of you testified over the past weeks what an amazing friend Frank was to you. That it was Frank who gave you a chance when no one else would.

It was Frank, Cecil, who paid you even when you were out sick a whole month also that you might feed your family.

It was Frank, Ramona, who let you keep family first as a you were trying to find your way as a young woman with child.

It was Frank, Tom, who encouraged you thorough your health challenges even when he was facing his own.

It was Frank, Barona brothers, who extended you credit to make your dreams reality.

It was Frank, Damon, who believed in you when you didn’t even believe in yourself.

And there are countless others of you, who are assembled here today, who testify to the man that Frank Clayton was. That he, at some point in your life, was deeply invested in your well being. That he, at just he right moment, planted himself beside you.

But the truth of the matter is that the reason why Frank was such a good family man and friend was because he was deeply rooted and planted in a “Fantastic Faith!” To have faith in general can be a difficult task, especially in times like these, but to have “Fantastic Faith” is to have a faith that is unbelievable. Frank’s attitude was always positive because his faith was always fantastic. Even in his final days when he could not articulate many words, “fantastic” remained ingrained in Frank’s vocabulary.

“Fantastic Faith” is what set him apart:

A faith that trusted God to make him a better husband and a better father

Faith that trusted God to bring him through poverty and a single parent home

Faith that trusted God to work from the bottom up

A faith that trusted God to open Central Electric Supply Company and a faith that held him close when Central Electric closed its doors

Faith that helped him remain “your realtor for life,” even when the market was failing

Faith in God even in the midst of sickness that would break most men

A faith in God to always have a better tomorrow

Faith to make it beyond in trial or tribulation

Faith to count his blessings and not his burdens

A Faith that could move mountains

faith that God is bigger than any problem

And a faith to trust God in the life and in his eternal rest.

Frank had a “Fantastic Faith” in Jesus Christ his savior…that Jesus would see him through. And when you think about it, that’s just what Jesus did. Jesus saw Frank through with safe passage into eternal life. He is now with “the great cloud of witnesses” because of his “Fantastic Faith” in Jesus. Jesus saw him through because no more is he fighting disease in his body but moving freely in the heaven’s walking those streets of God.

So the question is then…What are YOU planted in?

Are you planted in things which are life giving?

Are you planted in “Fantastic Faith?”

Because if you knew Frank and you are planted in fantastic faith then you know what he expects of us? He expects us to finish out verse 3…Let us “Yield fruit in season, let our leaves not wither and whatever we do prosper.”

If you want to honor God and honor Frank then plant yourself in fantastic faith.

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” …”He will wipe every tear from your eyes” (Rev. 21:4)

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” … “He will turn your mourning into dancing” (Ps. 30:11)

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” … and “He will carry your burdens” (Ps 68:19)

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” … and “He will give power to the exhausted and strength to the weak.” (Isa. 40:29)

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” … and “He will heal your broken heart and mend all your wounds.” (Ps.147:3)

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” … and remember that “weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.” (Ps. 30:5)

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” he will turn your tears into testimonies and your moans into meaningful memories.

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” he will turn your sadness into success, your misery into masterful melodies and your grief into gratitude.

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” he will turn your frustration into fortune, your pain into praise and your longing into laughing.

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” you will receive new seeds for the journey, Sharon, and new fruit for the road, Lindsay.

If you plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” whatever you do will prosper.

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” and watch how laughter will return, new beginnings will rest upon the horizon and new chapters of untold worlds revealed.

Plant yourself in “Fantastic Faith” Sharon and you will run and not grow weary.

Plant yourself fin “Fantastic Faith” Lindsay and you will walk and not faith.

And I will plant myself in “Fantastic Faith” and mount upon wings like eagles.

Plant yourself, plant yourself, plant yourself….

Honor Frank’s legacy and life by planting yourself in the life giving gifts of this world…Family…Friends…but most of all “Fantastic Faith!”

Thursday, September 25, 2008 

Humm.

As I reflect on the people I call "mentors" in my life I found this insightful and helpful. As I think of the people who as me to mentor them it is a helpful guide as well.

How Do You Define Good Mentoring?
Compiled from the Pre-Workshop Assessment for the
FTE Doctoral Programs Alumni Mentoring Workshop
June 12-13, 2008

• “A good mentor is a person who models with his/her own life and work desired qualities. In addition, the mentor makes him/her self available to others through personal contact and e-mail in a timely manner.”

• “Good mentoring begins with empathy for the mentee and demands humility of the mentor. Mentoring is providing a model picture of professional guidance for a dream chaser.”

• A good mentor is “a person who knows you.”

• “concern for the whole person- advising, guiding, and serving as a role model, not just professionally but in one’s entire life”

• “one who understands and keenly negotiates the balance between development of individuals , in relation to self actualization/ authenticity, autonomy (independence)/interdependence, and nurturing/ controlling. Good mentoring is holistic and takes into account the development of both parties”

• “Good mentoring is being intentional in fostering the development of another human being”

• “balanced relationship between individuals that is beneficial for all parties involved. It includes constructive self reflection/ critique and open communication, takes seriously the needs, expectations and goals of all parties involved (and communicates those needs, expectations and goals); and can accommodate the fluid nature of change in the relationship.”

• “Good mentoring occurs when the mentor and the mentee have a relationship based on honest assessment of the mentee’s work and professional development and personal, spiritual growth. Here the boundaries are made clear and the mentor is invested in the vision of the mentees vision and voice as a scholar in their own right.”

• “helping an individual identify their strengths and weaknesses and respond appropriately as they know themselves better”

• “Good mentoring on the part of the mentor involves identifying the mean between excess and deficiency in matters such as: aloofness and intimacy, critique and affirmation, and confidence and vulnerability. Too much of the former- aloofness, critique and confidence- may cause a protégé to view the mentor as overly pedantic, paternalistic and/or imperious. Too much of the latter- intimacy, affirmation, and vulnerability- can make a mentor come across as incontinent, uncritical, and unconfident.”

• “Good mentoring is marked by mutual learning; shared vision and honest feedback. It functions best in an apprenticeship paradigm where best practices are modeled, analyzed and critiqued.”

Friday, September 05, 2008 

What are you doing?

Martin Luther King Jr was right when he said "A social movement that only moves people is merely a revolt. A movement that changes both people and institutions is a revolution." I am ready for a revolution because I am sick of revolt.

So the question I'm asking is "What are you doing" to bring about revoluton.

About me

  • I'm Rev. Courtney Clayton Jenkins
  • From Cleveland Heights, OH, United States
  • I am a young woman in pursuit of her God given destiny. It is an interesting road to travel. I don't have it all together and a lot to learn. Step by step and day by day I keep pushing on. These are my thoughts about life, love, the Word and the world.
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